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12 May 2007 @ 10:10 pm
I do realise that I havent posted in a while. But yeah, schools hard, ballet exams are hard ... what do you expect? 



Yes, as you can tell, i miss my gymnastics. I love ballet, yes, but its just not the same. its not the same rush, no where near. I thought that maybe if I worked hard enough at ballet, I would block the pain of gym, but noooooo. Grrr. I was so dumb. So completely and utterly stupid. y ankle hurt, so bad I crashed into the vauling horse and made a fool out of myslef. Warning sign?? Yes. Ignored it?? Even bigger yes. Stupid?? YES! What do I do? I tape it and get back out there. Bars come, I can barely push off the spring board. I wonder why? BECAUSE MY BODY'S TRYING TO TELL ME SOMETHING, THATS WHY! Beam comes, my ankles are shaking so badly that I lose my balance and almost fall. Big deal, they've hurt before this, why should I wimp out now? Why not just push through it? Jeeze I was dumb. Its all my fault, of corse. I should have listened. I should have seen the warning signs. But nooo, floor comes, last of corse. Yay for exhaustion. But I did it all well in the warm up, now I just have to work on perfection. Split leaps, good. Turns, pfft, they're always bad. Now, round offs. Nice hurdle, kick off the floor. then, BANG. Two MASSIVE cracks that my friends mum said she heard from the back row of the staduim, and Im back on the floor. Crying, looking around for help. "Oh great work Laura" I think "Both ankles broken, thats a nice way to spend life in a wheelchair". I was crying out of fear rather than pain. I was scared, terrified that I would lose gymnastics forever. With good reason, too. I did, didint I? Now all I have is that stupid ankle, and the fear of breakig it angain. Oh, and the arthritis. Lots and lots of arthritis. My ankles both sound and feel like cement mixers. 

Oh the joy. 

Yeah. And thats my rant. 

*End rant*
i'm yoursimateenagegirl on May 13th, 2007 01:59 am (UTC)
oy vey
oy vey
all i can say is sorry =/
Lozcharlichic on May 13th, 2007 04:32 am (UTC)
Re: oy vey
Thanks hun,sorry about the depressing post, but I was tired and upset last night haha.
i'm yoursimateenagegirl on May 13th, 2007 03:05 pm (UTC)
haha, yeshh we should def be friends && keep in touch =]
comment back on my introductory entry?

(Anonymous) on July 1st, 2007 12:35 pm (UTC)
ok. a few things. and please dont take this the wrong way. but i really need your help in this.
1. i think ur a beautiful person, with an amazing soul, who cod have the world if you tried. stop doubting yourself and live like the attractive, intelegent, talented young woman you are, because one day, if you dont, your body will break and you wont be able to fix it.
2. its over. it was over a long time ago. hes moved on. and i dont know whether its intentional or not. but its causing pain. and thats not cool. like i said. im not attacking you. i swear it. i just. its hard to help fix things if your not sure whether or not you even realise its going on. :)
so thats about it. but really. ur a lovely person. with a massive soul. and a bigger heart. but i think unless you open ur eyes to the damage your doing to yourself, youll lose it all. it hurts your friends. it hurts them and it quite obviously hurts you too. dont over do it.
Lozcharlichic on July 2nd, 2007 01:10 am (UTC)
OK, one thing you've got to realise is this post was a long time ago. Ive gotten over it, and moved on. A long time ago. Trust me, Im not doing any damage, and if Im hurting my friends they should tell me because I didnt realise.
Lozcharlichic on July 2nd, 2007 11:26 am (UTC)
Oh, and who is this 'he' your refering to? Im confused :S